( TOP 10 OF THE FIRST HALF OF '07 )

Films

2046 (1/18)
The 39 Steps [1935] (5/2)
À bout de souffle [Breathless] (3/2)
After Hours [1985] (1/22)
Alphaville, une étrange aventure de Lemmy Caution (1/7)
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (5/9)
Antitrust (2/23)
The Asphalt Jungle [1950] (1/27)
Assault on Precinct 13 [1976] (2/16)
Badlands (1/26)
Bad News Bears [2005] (5/13)
Bande á part [Band of Outsiders] (1/31)
The Baxter (5/11)
Before Sunrise [1995] (3/11)
Broadway Danny Rose (5/19)
Brokeback Mountain (1/1)
Bucktown (1/27)
Bukowski: Born Into This (3/24)
Capote (3/23)
Charme discret de la bourgeoisie, Le [The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie] (1/15)
Chinatown [1974] (5/3)
Clockers (2/22)
The Constant Gardener (3/2)
Crash [2004] (2/4)
Dance 'Til Dawn (2/4)
The Devil and Daniel Johnston (5/20)
DiG! (1/27)
Disco Godfather (5/14)
D-tox [aka Eye See You] (4/23)
Everything is Illuminated (3/29)
Fa yeung nin wa [In The Mood For Love] (1/31)
Get Rich or Die Tryin' (3/31)
The Gingerdead Man (1/11)
Hana-bi [Fireworks] (5/16)
Hannah and Her Sisters (3/2)
The Harder They Come [1972] (1/26)
Havoc [2005] (1/5)
The Hidden [1987] (4/8)
Hostel [2005] (1/6)
House of Wax [2005]
The Human Tornado [1976] (1/20)
Iron Eagle (4/12)
The Island [2005] (2/26)
Jarhead (5/2)
Jungfrukällan [The Virgin Spring] (2/24)
Junebug (3/14)
Jungle Fever (4/28)
The King of Comedy (5/4)
King Kong [2005] (5/16)
Lauderdale (2/22)
Lord of War (3/18)
Maciste e la regina di Samar [Hercules Against the Moon Men] (2/13)
The Matador (2/16)
Match Point [2005] (2/11)
Mayor of the Sunset Strip (5/14)
Me and You and Everyone We Know (1/12)
Mean Streets (4/28)
Menace II Society (4/15)
Mépris, Le [Contempt] (2/7)
Midnight Cowboy (2/7)
Mo' Better Blues (4/22)
Mr. & Mrs. Smith [2005] (3/18)
Nashville [1975] (2/24)
Nattvardsgästerna [Winter Light] (2/12)
Network [1976] (5/11)
Orfeu Negro [Black Orpheus] (2/4)
Paris, Texas (5/3)
Play It Again, Sam (2/16)
Poseidon (5/22)
The Purple Rose of Cairo (2/13)
Quick Change [1990] (4/26)
Rashômon (2/18)
Reality Bites (4/8)
Rock School (5/10)
Roll Bounce (1/12)
Rope [1948] (5/4)
The Rules of Attraction (1/8)
Salvador [1986] (4/29)
Såsom i en spegel [Through a Glass Darkly] (2/3)
Shadow of a Doubt [1943] (5/10)
Silent Hill (4/29)
Sixteen Candles (3/11)
Spoorloos [The Vanishing] (1/7)
The Squid and the Whale (1/5)
Stay Alive (3/24)
Taxi Driver [1976] (2/17)
Thank You For Smoking (4/14)
Trees Lounge (2/18)
Trois couleurs: Bleu (1/19)
The Trouble With Harry [1955] (4/21)
Trois couleurs: Rouge (1/30)
Trzy kolory: Bialy (1/24)
Two for the Road (3/10)
Tystnaden [The Silence] (2/26)
Under the Cherry Moon (2/14)
United 93 (4/30)
Wedding Crashers (1/11)
What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1/14)
Wild Style (5/13)
Wong gok ka moon [As Tears Go By] (4/28)
Zelig (1/10)

I have been thinking about--rightokayright, obsessing about--my top 10 albums of the year, which is a list I have made either publicly or in my own noodle for eight of the last eight years, and not the kind of thing I intended to drop the ball on for a year such as I've had in 2005, in which I have probably listened to more music than any other year maybe ever. But um, snag city; I sit down to write out said list, and I can't especially get past #2. I know for a fact that I am madly in love with The Hold Steady and their Separation Sunday and will probably still be 1,000 years from this day when Craig Finn pukes PBR and veggie burrito on my grave. And I have nothing by fond feelings for Tanglewood Numbers as well, messy and stupid as a lot of it is. But that's about as far as it goes for this past calendar year. I mean, I am certainly keen on bits and pieces of other stuff, but hey, Twin Cinema might be real real catchy and everything, but that wasn't even the best record I bought that day, ya heard? My ass has repeatedly not been kicked by records this year, and I just feel like I'm cheating somebody by putting Clap Your Hands Say Yeah/Jens Lekman/Mike Jones up there with those other two, which so clearly (to me, anyhow) cast surly, Jameson-soaked shadows over the rest of it.

I had an interesting talk with my ol' buddy Ian the other night, sufficiently sloshed on $1.25 Budweisers and throwing darts in a manner best described as "poorly," about the differences betwixt our recent listening habits. I, as a semi-professional music critic ("semi" only because they don't pay me; I still work harder at it than probably anybody who's ever sweat on you), hear the big release of the week many many times over for a seven day stretch, sneak in maybe something else tertiary a time or two in a crunch, and then it's either R. Kelly on my roommate's couch or Willie Nelson at the poker table until I inevitably pass out. Gentleman-and-scholar Ian listens to whatever he pleases, because nobody expects him to spit out a couple thousand words about The Pussycat Dolls or David Banner or whathaveyou like they do me, so he's got carte blanche. Funny thing is, you'd think my pop-centric occupation would lean me farther towards the esoteric in my spare time, but it just ain't so; my favorite records are literate, a little pushy, but mostly catchy as balls, albeit knottily-catchy in a way that separates them from my beloved Gwenner or, say, Spoon (who, don't get me wrong, I heartheartheart, although Gimme Fiction is only about half great and half blah). Ian, on the other hand, listens to weird-ass noisy shit because he can, dammit, and because he digs it. He told me about how Sunn O))) isn't weird enough for him. I told him about The Magic Numbers. See? Different. I disagree with him--the stuff he likes is admirable, but to me anyway, no fun--and yet, I envy him.

It occurs to me that my job has erected (har!) a roadblock between me and listening to music for the reasons most other people, Ian or Johnny TRL both, find satisfaction in listening to music, and this thought has been buggering me some ever since. I read Lester Bangs and I hear him talk about a thousand records at once like he's got the time for that shit (although I suppose all the speed helped...), and though he certainly had his particular sacred bovines, he wasn't above loving something left-field, something that struck him for whatever reason things happened to strike him. Me, I know I won't like the new Strokes before I've heard it, I will be fond of the new Cat Power for a short time and then dismiss it, I will feel guilty for thinking the new Belle and Sebastian is the best one since Sinister by a north-country mile, because I need to pre-categorize, because I need to start writing in my head before I ever put fingers to keys. I love what I do, and I think I am getting better at it all the time, but I am kind of missing the feeling I used to get as a lad of reading a review of a record (something I never ever do anymore for fear of mind-changing and phrase-bitin') and thinking "hey, that might be for me!" and letting the music be all the kick in the pants I needed. Now, it's all about finding an angle and the words to describe it.

In short, I don't much like Sufjan Stevens. Ta da, I guess.

I'm not sure why I keep a fan on in here. It just blows the hot air around.

I've had the most emo weekend of my life, maybe. I have to review the new All-American Rejects album, which is quite enjoyable in its own spit-sheened way, but also quite assuredly a downer. The Verve Pipe were going to play a free concert on the lawn outside the union, and I was all excited about that, and then it was raining so they cancelled; which is probably the only thing sadder than hearing "The Freshman" while entrenched in one of the largest assemblies of new, drunk freshmen in the world. I woke up on the couch three nights in a row, and after transplanting myself to my bed, slept in my clothes just as many. I'm reading the Nick Hornby book about a bunch of people who try to kill themselves in order to take something of a mental breather from the assembled non-Catcher works of J.D. Salinger I've been poring over lately. I could go on.

I made this mix for a party last night, put it on, and then left:

50 Cent - "Just A Lil' Bit"
M.I.A. - "Bucky Done Gun"
Basement Jaxx - "Breakaway"
Björk - "Human Behavior"
The Chemical Brothers - "Orange Wedge"
Wreckx N Effect - "Rumpshaker"
Bran Van 3000 - "Go Shoppin'"
The Go! Team - "Ladyflash"
Need New Body - "Buffalo Stance"
Missy 'Misdemeanor' Elliott - "On and On"
Beck - "Hell Yes"
Mu - "Paris Hilton"
Amon Tobin - "Stoney Street"
R. Kelly - "Sex In the Kitchen"
Stereolab - "Diagonals"
Cibo Matto - "Birthday Cake"
Busdriver ft. Abstract Rude - "Unnecessary Thinking"
Cornershop - "Funky Days Are Back Again"
DJ Funk - "Ass and Titties"

This is how livejournal works, right? I just type stuff in here and then you all read it?

WHO'S BAD?

My friend Laura gave me a "Perm for a Day" kit from, like, 1989 as a going away present (well, actually, more of an "I'm moving, you deal with this" present, but the other explanation is nicer). Should I drip 15-year-old chemicals that close to my brain-piece to Keri Russell-fy my hair? I dunno, probably. I'm just waiting for the right time.

If you put cheap cheap vodka (we used Crown Russe, which is $10.99/handle) through a Brita filter three or four times, it takes the terrible out of the taste, and diminishes the hangover. When I write my list of "ten things I learned in college" for my senior column next year, you can bet this'll be up there with the microwaved Pop Tarts. I also hear you can stick Starburst in vodka overnight and it makes it taste like Starburst. "What I did on my summer vacation."

Does anybody actually like Aphex Twin? Or early Sonic Youth or Iran or Joanna Newsom? I've given up on things that are unconscionably annoying. The Killers > Interpol. I got National Treasure from Netflix, and I am stoked.

I guess I have to, like, buy books or something.

Jess graduated today. We ran the Scent Stories a lot and I picked the little rubber pieces that fall out of the back of my shoes off of the floor because her parents came and sat in our living room. Stokes and Abe and I went to this party at this Republican dude's house, and he was really nice and gave me carte blanche with the American Ale. "Very patriotic," he said. "Damn right," I said. There's your common ground.

Kris really likes Mike Jones. She also has a thing for Jonathan Safran Foer, Bombay gin-and-tonics, and loom weaving. It's always something with this girl. I dunno. I'm a fan.



11:10-3:35, MWF, 5/16-6/24: an experiment in regularity.

2005

Movies (watched):

About Schmidt (1/8)
A Fei jing juen [Days of Being Wild] (6/19)
A History of Violence [2005] (10/1, 11/2)
Alone in the Dark [2005] (6/5)
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (1/2, 1/14, 9/10)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (10/12)
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (10/20)
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (11/5)
Around the Fire (12/10)
The Assassination of Richard Nixon (5/1)
Au hazard Balthazar (7/24)
Baadassssss Cinema (4/24)
Bananas [1971] (12/26)
Batman [1989] (6/11)
Batman Begins (6/15, 6/20, 11/4)
Beat Street (4/20)
Beef (3/9)
Before Sunrise (1/10)
Before Sunset (1/16, 2/26)
Bewitched [2005] (7/3)
Born on the Fourth of July (7/17)
The Brown Bunny (8/23)
Broken Flowers (9/24)
Brown Sugar [2002] (4/17)
Carnal Knowledge [1971] (7/19)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (7/18)
Christmas Vacation (12/3)
Citizen Kane (7/14)
Coffy (5/31)
Collateral (1/6)
Chat Room [2002] (2/11)
Citizen Ruth (9/4)
The Crazies [1973] (6/5)
Crimes and Misdemeanors (1/28)
Cursed [2004] (2/25)
Darkman (1/28)
Day of the Dead [1985] (7/12)
Diarios de motocicleta [The Motorcycle Diaries] (4/18)
Dom durakov [House of Fools] (10/26)
Domino [2005] (10/18)
Doom [2005] (10/24)
Do the Right Thing (8/6)
Double Indemnity [1944] (7/27)
Down by Law (1/19)
Dr. No (2/7)
Duo luo tian shi [Fallen Angels] (6/12)
Ed [1996] (7/28)
Election [1999] (1/15)
End of the Century (3/31)
The Exorcism of Emily Rose (9/11)
Fade to Black [2004] (4/10)
Fantastic Four [2005] (7/10)
Fast Food [1989] (12/15)
The Fearless Freaks (6/11, 6/16)
Five Easy Pieces (6/19)
Flirting With Disaster (1/28)
The 40 Year Old Virgin (9/10)
Frank Miller's Sin City (9/23)
Freak Talks About Sex (9/18)
Friday the 13th Part 2 (10/30)
Full Metal Jacket (7/27)
Get Shorty (3/8)
Glitter [2001] (6/3)
Gong fu [Kung Fu Hustle] (4/23)
GoodFellas (3/24)
Good Night, and Good Luck. (11/24)
Goyôkiba [Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice] (4/27)
Goyôkiba: Kamisori Hanzô jigoku zeme [Hanzo the Razor 2: The Snare] (5/22)
Goyôkiba: Oni no Hanzô yawahada koban [Hanzo the Razor 3: Who's Got the Gold?] (5/23)
Hard Rock Zombies (4/20)
Haute tension [High Tension] (6/10)
Herbie: Fully Loaded (6/27)
Home Movie [2001] (6/7)
Hustle & Flow (7/24)
I Am Trying to Break Your Heart (1/23)
Inside Deep Throat (9/22)
The Island [2005] (7/22)
Jigoku kôshien [Battlefield Baseball] (10/3)
Kicking & Screaming [2005] (5/21)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (1/12)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (1/12)
Land of the Dead (6/25)
Liar Liar (1/16)
Lost Highway (7/20)
The Luau (8/5)
Malibooty (1/30, 11/22)
Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat (12/11)
Melinda and Melinda (4/9)
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (2/12)
Miller's Crossing (7/15)
Millions [2004] (11/25)
Mr. 3000 (3/20)
Munich (12/26)
My Own Private Idaho (4/10)
National Treasure [2004] (6/11)
Nema-ye Nazdik [Close-Up] (10/11)
Night of the Demons (10/11)
North by Northwest (7/6)
Ocean's Eleven [2001] (1/20)
Ocean's Twelve (4/17)
Orange County (3/12)
Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism (3/18)
Platoon (6/17)
Ray (4/4)
Re-Animator (10/11)
Red Eye (9/3)
Reservoir Dogs (1/25)
The Ring Two (3/19)
The Royal Tenenbaums (12/27)
Saw (3/16)
Saw II (10/31)
Say Anything (3/3)
Serpico (3/10)
Sideways (1/29, 3/5)
Singin' in the Rain (7/14)
Singles (2/12)
Sky High [2005] (8/1)
Sleepaway Camp (2/28)
Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (10/17)
Some Like It Hot [1959] (6/29)
Soul Plane (1/9)
Sweet and Lowdown [1999] (1/19)
Syriana (12/11)
Talk Radio (8/25)
Three Kings [1999] (3/11)
True Romance (7/7)
Unforgiven (7/27)
Vernon, Flordia (8/11)
Waiting for Guffman (5/20)
Walk the Line (12/1)
War of the Worlds [2005] (6/29)
Westworld (1/25)
Where the Buffalo Roam [1980] (4/13)
Wild at Heart (7/17)
Willard [2003] (10/2)
The Woodsman (4/19)
xXx (4/22)
xXx: State of the Union (4/29)

"Arnold Schwarzenegger gets away with saying things that don't make much sense a lot. Like, he doesn't really use any nouns, he just says a sentence and we nod our heads."

"I think we all assume we're missing something, like whatever he's actually trying to say he can only say in Austrian or whatever, so you can forgive it when the point doesn't ever come out. Really though, I think it's because he's been in all those movies, so people just assume he's the plainspoken ass-whooping version of himself he always plays. If he says some political gibberish that sounds like the kind of political gibberish Hauser would be on about if he were the governor, you just think 'oh yeah, he's the guy from those movies' and let it go."

"Yeah."

"I want that. I want people to justify everything I say with 'yeah, well, he was in that movie.'"

2004

Movies (watched):

Almost Famous [2000] (3/16)
Barbershop 2: Back in Business (2/8)
Big Fish (1/9)
Blowup [1966] (2/24)
Bones (1/22)
Breaking the Waves (2/23)
Bringing Out the Dead (4/11)
Cabin Fever [2002] (2/11)
Clueless (2/8)
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (1/14)
Country Bears, The (1/7, 4/8)
Dawn of the Dead [2004] (3/20)
Eraserhead (1/29)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (3/19)
Eurotrip (2/18)
Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le [Amélie] (4/10)
Final Comedown, The (1/11)
First Kid (1/22)
Freddy Got Fingered (2/10)
Friday the 13th [1980] (1/8)
George Clinton: The Mothership Connection (1/23)
Gigli (2/26)
Good Burger (1/1)
Goonies, The (2/18)
Gummo (2/2)
Head of State (4/18)
Hellboy (4/3)
How to Deal (1/8)
Ice Age (1/27)
Igby Goes Down (3/22)
Indestructible Man [1956] (3/18)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (4/15)
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2/12, 4/4)
Jesus' Son (3/14)
Katakuri-ke no kôfuku [The Happiness of the Katakuris] (2/29)
Last Temptation of Christ, The (3/18)
Malibooty (1/1, 1/20, 2/21)
Man of the House (3/25)
Mean Johnny Barrows (2/5)
Mitchell [MST3K version] (4/10)
Original Kings of Comedy, The (1/9)
Panic Room (1/6)
Party Girl (4/2)
Perfect Score, The (2/2)
Phat Beach (2/3)
Psych-Out (2/19)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (3/30)
Real Cancun, The (3/23)
Redneck Zombies (3/28)
Rock, The [1996] (4/26)
Sang dut sau shut [Bio Zombie] (2/5)
School of Rock, The (3/5)
Shaft in Africa (2/7)
Smultronstället [Wild Strawberries] (2/3)
Space is the Place (1/24)
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (3/4)
Stardust Memories (3/2)
Starsky & Hutch (4/1)
Station Agent, The (2/7)
Straight Story, The (1/19)
Superman III (1/24)
Sweet Sweetback's Baad Asssss Song (2/17)
Thirteen [2003] (3/4)
Timecop [1994] (3/22)
Torque (1/19)
Triplettes de Belleville, Les [The Triplets of Belleville] (2/26)
Velvet Smooth (1/31)
Wet Hot American Summer (2/7)
What's Eating Gilbert Grape? (1/11)
Who's the Man? (1/21)
Withnail and I (1/26)

Music (bought):

Air - Talkie Walkie (1/30)
Big Punisher - Capital Punishment (1/19)
Blige, Mary J - Real Love (3/27)
Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band - Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller) (2/15)
Cee-Lo Green - Cee-Lo Green... is the Soul Machine (3/18)
Das EFX - Dead Serious (1/7)
Deerhoof - Milk Man (3/14)
Dramarama - Cinéma Vérité (3/27)
Dylan, Bob - Bootleg Series, Vol. 6: Bob Dylan Live 1964 - Concert at Philharmonic Hall (3/31)
Kelis - Tasty (1/7)
Kinks, The - Lola vs. the Powerman & the Money-Go-Round, Pt. 1 (2/23)
Kool and the Gang - Live at the Sex Machine (2/20)
Mitchell, Joni -The Hissing of Summer Lawns (2/20)
Nas - Illmatic (1/24)
Ol' Dirty Bastard - Return to the 36 Chambers (1/7)
Poster Children - Junior Citizen (2/4)
Poster Children - RTFM (2/4)
Poster Children - Tool of the Man (2/4)
Prince - Parade (2/20)
Quiet Riot - Metal Health (3/27)
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Tha Doggfather (1/19)
Shins, The - Chutes Too Narrow (1/19)
Springsteen, Bruce - Nebraska (3/31)
Squeeze - Argybargy (2/4)
Talking Heads, The - Talking Heads '77 (1/15)
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - The Tyranny of Distance (3/7)
West, Kanye - The College Dropout (2/13)
Wonder, Stevie - Fulfillingness' First Finale (2/23)
Wonder, Stevie - Talking Book (3/7)
X - Ain't Love Grand (2/20)
</b></u>

</h4>

10. Starlight Mints - Built on Squares - Methadone for Yoshimi junkies. Oh yeah, and it's pretty good on its own, too.

9. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Hearts of Oak - Sunshine lollipops, modern day Costelloisms, drum-and-bass-and-guitar-and-vocals, redefined. Number two in what'll probably be a long line of great Pharmacists records (and, guess what, it's better than the last one). Play this for your momma, and she'll probably bake you something nice.

8. Single Frame - Wetheads Come Running - What if Tobin Sprout-era GBV remade Red Medicine? The best spazz-pop since Hissing Prigs, is what. It's really a lot more like crack than can be explained.

7. Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People - I was in Iowa, up at the lakes, on one of these days they have in Iowa where the sun doesn't come out 'til 4 PM and everybody runs outside to catch a little bit of it before it's too late. Tired of relatives and potato salad and thinking too much about girls who move away, I laid down on a beach chair, turned You Forgot It In People up as high as my headphones would allow, and watched boats move across the water. Everybody who's heard Broken Social Scene seems to have a story like that, and it's no accident; these songs will fucking make the soundtracks to the little movies we love for the next five years, at least. "Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl"? "Looks Just Like The Sun"? "Lover's Spit"? People is, like, Astral Weeks beautiful, all the way through. A perfect record.

6. Grandaddy - Sumday - You know, I never liked Grandaddy. Is it synth-pop? Is it supposed to be, like, epic, or something? What's the deal with the guy with the voice? I guess it fit that "Now It's On" was the first song I heard after a firestorm of re-pluggery when I moved back home from school this summer; prejudices aside, this was and has remained the record I couldn't put down, these are the jams that remind me most of myself. Sumday (and, to a lesser extent, Phantom Power) did what Hail to the Thief failed to do; make a big-ass rock record that could simultaneously grab you by the balls and ask you out for coffee. Grandaddy purists might not agree, but in ten years, it'll be this one, not the prehistoric Slump, that you'll be bumpin' on the way to the delivery room. "The Group That Couldn't Say", indeed.

5. Outkast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below - Look, haters. Stop hatin'. Three, four years ago, there'd have been at least three rap-based records on this list, but times have changed, and as undie-hop has gotten less, uh, listenable (Vik Vaughn being this year's singular exception) and mainstream resigning itself to a singles game (I don't care who you is, a CD-R of "Get Low", "What Da Hook Gon Be?" and the rest of 'em is far and away the best record of 2003), there hasn't been much a brother like myself can hold onto. But then, there's that Kast, proving once again that they, and not Wilco (better lyrics/music) or Radiohead (more forward-thinking within the same pop context) or whoeverthefuckelse you choose to de-pants, are the greatest band on the earth-globe. Speakerboxxx was all back-alley beats and lyrics of fury, but The Love Below, coochiepop at its least direct, was just somethin' else. Fuck a George Clinton and, now, a Prince; this Outkast is the future of music, and even when their tryin' seemed a little forced (I hear "Spread" is the next single), enough of what they attempted worked so well, with two discs to delve into, there's no room for complaint. Ambition winning out over realization? Nah. I think this one's just gonna take a couple years to sink in.

4. The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow - Another pretty mess by this one band. It says plenty that, two records in, The Shins are already indie-pop's heaviest hitters (one love, Benjy). Chutes Too Narrow managed a lot; to equal (and practically trump) their near-perfect debut, to solidify James Mercer's position as the greatest songwriter since ol' Jeffy Man-hole. All that's irrelevant, though, the minute "Kissing the Lipless" sways to a start. Chutes is great. You should buy it. I wasn't lying.

3. The Exploding Hearts - Guitar Romantic - Dead. But it doesn't matter! This shit is, like, Kiss and The Ramones and The Beach Boys The Ronettes and all that stupid teenage lovey-dove shit all mixed in! With, like, more Miller High Life than you've ever seen! Believe the hype; these kids, collectively, really could've been a contender. It's hard to top a story about up-and-comers crashing right before they hit it huge. Hard, but I'll be fucked if Guitar Romantic doesn't do it. This is what I gave people who told me Room on Fire was good. A great, great punk-rock album like they just don't make no mo'.

2. The Rapture - Echoes - This one'll put the whiskey bottle in your hand, the girl u want half an inch out of reach. But it'll also make sure you find a nice, quiet place to puke before it's too late, and it might just tuck you in after you're all finished. Screw dance-punk, screw The Cure, screw, uh, disco? This record (which, I'd like to mention, can be bought practically anywhere for, like, eight lousy dollars) has them all beat. Play this as loud and as often as you can.

1. The Wrens - The Meadowlands - Secaucus? Yeah, okay. I get it. But how do you go from Archers of Lite to this? Seven years, a daily regiment of liquor and drugs, a rotation cast of Jersey girls gone wild(er), maybe? I guess this is growing up. Gorgeous retro-'94 arrangements over some of the weightest songs I've heard since The Smiths or so. After living with The Meadowlands for maybe five months now, I feel like I'm just now beginning to listen to it. And that's the test.

-We went to the American Ale House in Toftrees for the big din-din, which wasn't too shabby, save for the fact that eating at 1:30 fucks my whole shit up, as do buffets. Anybody else have a problem taking in food that's just been sitting there? Could be repressed childhood buffet-related trauma. I do still love Ponderosa, though.

-I've been trying to work on the oft-pondered, never fully realized Pretty Mommys EP (tentative title: Harriet Winslow) all weekend, and while having access to my banjo and Dan's 4-track all weekend has provided me with at least two really kickin' instrumentals, uh, I'm so used to harping on the lyrics of others, I can't help but continually second-guess my own (sound familiar, Swiffer?) to the point of madness. Suckapunch. 'Tleast my production skills have gone from soccer mom to killer coach-dad.

-My parents are all "maybe you won't get to go to Phish on Saturday 'cuz of the weather!" and I'm all "no, ye swarthy bastards, how else will I relive those awkward, vaguely smelly high school years 'fore I turn the big 2-1 and knit that tie into my (admittedly scant) chest hair!" and they're all "avoid soap and talk to that hot neighbor girl you saw one time" and I'm all "that would make me a stalker and no better than Arthur" and they're all "burn on Arthur" and I'm all "yeah, big-time burn" BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT. I want to see Phish. On Saturday. Because I used to really like them and I still do in that latent, Pavlovian way all you kids like Smashing Pumpkins even though they are almost entirely bad. Hippie girls are hot, too. THEIR EYELASHES SPARKLE LIKE THEY DID GRASS. Ahem. I'll stop now.

-I played this whole game where I'm all coy and attempt to be responsible with other peoples' lootcakes and, per usual, it backfired like a mammajamma. I don't want to get into it, but, you know how some people are passive-agressive, and I'm mostly just passive? Yeah, that sucks. Operative term, that.

-Listening to Love is Hell, pt. 1 and watching Edward Scissorhands makes me realize that I'm a sad, sappy sucker, and I'm tired of being single and I want Winona for mine. Even though she kissed Bright Eyes. I don't mind. Wino forever, I suppose.